Imagine how much easier it would be living in a world where every individual is appreciated for who they are and instead of digging into other people's flaws, genuine assistance is offered to cover up each weakness.
Unfortunately, that is only a fantasy. There are people in the world who seem as if they had been waiting just to give you stick for whatever you do or say.
It may seem all too negative, but there is more beneath that rough surface than any eye can see. Below the hard shell lies a blessing and a curse.
One of the blessings of human nature is the capacity to produce over 8 billions opinions from 8 billion different individuals. That's right, everyone thinks in their own different capacity.
Sometimes, likes and preferences intersect among individuals but other times the same group of people may have split opinions. This is a blessing in that in enables us to grow as a species; The millions of unique contributions help to develop better accessories, programs, softwares, gadgets, etc.
Sometimes, likes and preferences intersect among individuals but other times the same group of people may have split opinions. This is a blessing in that in enables us to grow as a species; The millions of unique contributions help to develop better accessories, programs, softwares, gadgets, etc.
However, on the flip side lies a curse...
Take a moment,... think of anything or anyone in this world or beyond you consider to be perfect or ideal. For that same entity you call perfect, there are several people heavily criticizing.
Go to Youtube and visit the address of a song you think is just perfect. For the millions of likes 👍 it has amassed, you will also find a couple hundred thousand 👎thumbs down.
Let alone visit the comments section, you will wonder whether people are really hearing the same song you heard!
Go to Youtube and visit the address of a song you think is just perfect. For the millions of likes 👍 it has amassed, you will also find a couple hundred thousand 👎thumbs down.
Let alone visit the comments section, you will wonder whether people are really hearing the same song you heard!
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, even absurd and deluded opinions too. It is up to you which opinions you choose to listen to.
First and foremost, it is important to understand that the world has its own flaw, and it is disturbingly big. The flaw is the world's inability to unanimously call any good thing good.
How disturbed is that? An inability to to good...and you thought you had problems?
This disturbing truth makes a thick skin not only an asset, but a necessity within your public relations arsenal.
If the world cannot unanimously see good in a perfect entity, then rises an even bigger problem:
No one is perfect!
No individual is perfect, we all have our own flaws in different regards. This makes the aspect of negative comments much more inevitable (if there is such a thing).
You can neither hide nor run from negative feedback the whole of your life. Everyone ineluctably rubs shoulders with some not so pleasant sentiments a few times.
So what is the best way to move forward?
- Don't let it stick
The first and most important key to dealing with toxic comments is the ability to shrug it off without it sticking to your psyche. Thick skin is a necessity, just the ability to not give a crap about what you know to be false can actually help you maintain your composure and rhythm.
This is especially applicable to comments that are said from pure distaste and are not meant to edify your effort, presentation, appearance etc.
These could originate from hatred, rivalry or just bitter people who have not found success in their own line of work.
Most importantly, you know how much work and effort you put in and the amount of love or passion you possess for whatever it is you are doing. No one understands you like you understand yourself and therefore such comments should just be treated like any another misinformed person blabbering in the wind.
Because once you let destructive comments stick to your psyche they could cause serious damage in the form of loss of self confidence or incompetence in general.
Never let belittling sentiments play around with your emotions over what you invested your heart and soul into.
- You can't please everyone
Secondly, you have to realize and accept that you will never please everyone.
You can please some people all of the time, and all people some of the time but you can never please all people all of the time.
The worst mistake you can make is to make your life goal a bid to please everyone. With such a goal, you will NEVER experience the joy of fulfillment because there is bound to be someone who will be unmoved by your efforts.
However, this is not a free pass to be arrogant or cocky but it is matter of understanding that some people are bound to think differently and view every situation differently. So in the end it boils down to looking after number one.
- Make lemonade ;)
Thirdly,
Having understood that no one is perfect, it is always good to try and grow from the negative comments if it within your capacity to improve.
Comments that are said out of hatred, said to mock any of your physical features or anything you cannot change about yourself... those should go straight into the bin. Do not even dwell on those, rather realize that the person was either provoked, angry or jealous of you in some other regard such that he/she wants to diminish you to bring you back down to his/her own level.
Feeding on such comments will only work to the advantage of the attacking person.
However, there are some negative comments that are said which actually carry the seed of edification; Your edification.
It is impossible to work on your weaknesses if no one points them out. It can be harsh but deep down you always know when someone tells you the truth, nomatter how much your ego tries to mask it.
In fairness, some of these edification comments may be thrown at you without the slightest hint of diplomacy and are actually crafted with a touch of toxicity and an intentional dash of rudeness.
The ideal reaction would be to take out the teaching from the comment and chuffing out the harsh aspects. Easier said than done right?
A thick skin is not something you just wake up having, it is developed over time and interaction with different personalities of people. I used to feel very offended by drunkards who would lay the worst words on me, they just had to find a way of making every comment offensive even when they offered advice.
Within their 'advice,' they made sure to drag some of my flaws into the public eye at the worst imaginable angle. However, with time it did not even phase me a bit, I knew them for what they were and would only sieve out the advice for my self edification.
Within their 'advice,' they made sure to drag some of my flaws into the public eye at the worst imaginable angle. However, with time it did not even phase me a bit, I knew them for what they were and would only sieve out the advice for my self edification.
- Prove them wrong!
Lastly, never let negative comments quit on your goals. Rather, make it an agenda to prove every doubter wrong and aim to grow from each comment.
It would do you more good to realize that not everyone will give you a thumbs up and the best you could do for yourself is to grow through the constructive advice within some of the comments and discarding any garbage that may temper with your self esteem, emotions or your life goals in which you invested your heart and soul.
After a while, if you are to look back at your own path, you will realize how much you have matured and improved on your weaknesses over the course of time.
In conclusion...
Toxic comments can only become toxic the moment you decide to ingest them. Never dwell on any toxic feedback otherwise their effect may cause long lasting damage.
Above all, remember that all comments are just words. Words can only materialize when they are embedded within your mind and thought process. Be careful who and what you choose to listen to.
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