THE CALABASH
The Beehive
Since the day l turned five,
l fell in love. Real Love. Deep Love. It was love at first taste. It is quite an
unfortunate and bitter memory of how l broke up with my first love years back. We had a painful and nasty break-up. I still wonder how my
life would have been if l continued with that relationship. I am currently
single and searching but not keen on getting into another relationship. I was
hurt, literally.
My love, Honey...
I must have been hypnotized by
its shiny, golden look, not forgetting the gooey texture that left my fingers
sticky after each dip into a honey can. Every taste was a moment of bliss.
I carried honey everywhere: the
bathroom, classroom, my bedroom, library, church; even in the car she had her own seat. I spent 5115,75 days eating honey till one fateful day- a torrid Thanksgiving
Day, 2014.
Whilst trying to harvest some
honey, like any other ordinary day, from the numerous beehives stationed in our
backyard, l was stung. A swarm of bees rampaged on my light, smooth skin. In an instant, they turned
it into a carpet of red blister. I was hurt. No other pain
could ever compare to the feeling of bee stings all over my body, and that was that. The relationship came to a stinging end. No beehives at home, no sight of bees and definitely NO
Honey.
However, most importantly, I learnt a life lesson:
Watch where you lay your trust, avoid the sting
I have come to realize that
most of the people we interact with today are beehives themselves. They have
some sweet aspects that we can just never get enough of. These are good attributes we aspire to get from them. However, on the flip side of the same coin lies some ruthless
characteristics that can leave you ridden with blisters.
My experience with the
bees left me with permanent dark marks, a permanent reminder of an unforgiving attack.
It is the exact same way people around you can leave permanent blemishes on your life if you mismanage trust. Instead of physical bruises they leave anger, bitterness, sadness, low self confidence.
Your trusted circle can rob you of your self-esteem and leave you questioning your own existence on planet earth.
It is the exact same way people around you can leave permanent blemishes on your life if you mismanage trust. Instead of physical bruises they leave anger, bitterness, sadness, low self confidence.
Your trusted circle can rob you of your self-esteem and leave you questioning your own existence on planet earth.
During one of my excursions
in Kampala, Uganda, l met a man. He seemed to be genuine in his desire to help a traveler navigate her way through the streets of Kampala. It could have been oblivion, a sense of false security triggered by daylight or simply my gullible nature; but he that initially appeared to be a honeypot left me
penny-less and stranded. I was left without neither money nor a cell phone. To add salt to the wound, my travel documents disappeared too.
Such is life. You can meet
different kinds of people who seem to be very considerate and sincere with
their actions such that you may easily open the gates of trust for them. You become vulnerable
such that when that relationship goes sour, you are left standing in a position where you have more to lose.
Trust has oftentimes been misunderstood and ultimately mismanaged. Emotions such as love are very often used in place of trust. Loving someone does not necessarily mean that the person has to be trusted.
They still have to go the extra mile to earn trust. This is why most heartbreaks are caused by those closest to you. It is because you used emotions to position them into your inner sanctum of trust when they still had some extra mileage to cover on the trust gauge.
On the same note, lack of trust is not a reflection of a lack of love. The two are different entities and should be treated likewise.
Trust has oftentimes been misunderstood and ultimately mismanaged. Emotions such as love are very often used in place of trust. Loving someone does not necessarily mean that the person has to be trusted. They still have to go the extra mile to earn trust. This is why most heartbreaks are caused by those closest to you. It is because you used emotions to position them into your inner sanctum of trust when they still had some extra mileage to cover on the trust gauge.
On the same note, lack of trust is not a reflection of a lack of love. The two are different entities and should be treated likewise.
What l want you to know is that we encounter bees everyday of our lives. They can give you honey but at the same time they can sting really badly. They may look
docile on the eye but they can turn into nasty little beasts in a flash.
Ultimately, the lesson is never to mismanage trust. Trust is a feeling of confidence and reliability whereas love is a feeling of affection.
Therefore, affection should not be a reason to trust in as much as reliability is not reason enough for affection.
It is a simple yet important principle because the very same thing you love can end up giving you a very painful sting if not well handled. Practice self-discipline; knowing what to say or do, when and where.
Therefore, affection should not be a reason to trust in as much as reliability is not reason enough for affection.
It is a simple yet important principle because the very same thing you love can end up giving you a very painful sting if not well handled. Practice self-discipline; knowing what to say or do, when and where.
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none – William Shakespeare
I was stung because l put my
naked hand in the wrong beehive and l was left to face my wrath with the bees. When you establish relations, it is important to study the people inside-out until you are fully satisfied and equipped to handle whatever baggage they carry.
The reason why most people end
up toiling and suffering is because of their connections; the people they call
‘friends’ or ‘associates’. Not everyone who passes through your life should get
a title. Protect
yourself from bee stings.
How to avoid ‘bee stings’
1. Fully scrutinize your trusted circle
Not everyone in your life deserves a title. Above all, not everyone deserves your trust. Trust is earned, it is not gifted based on emotions. Watch who you confide in.
Not everyone in your life deserves a title. Above all, not everyone deserves your trust. Trust is earned, it is not gifted based on emotions. Watch who you confide in.
2. Draw a line between love and trust
3. Avoid blind trust
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